He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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