I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
