I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
