He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
