Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
