HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
