he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Randomize
