this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm passing your future prison.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
