I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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