I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
