Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
