I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
i now understand why vodka
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
