before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
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