just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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