Kiss
Puke
Where is the hickey?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
