i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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