Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
