I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
