I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
