Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
