areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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