so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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