thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
We're too hungover to prance.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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