i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
