you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
