Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
