Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
