thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
