he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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