Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
