I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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