We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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