Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
