in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
