I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
