I want to make a zoo with you.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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