He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
