i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
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