sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
