Buhtt sex?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
