is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
