The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
