thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I have aggressive nipples.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
