I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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