Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
