I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
