Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
