Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
