Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
