Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just high enough for therapy.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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