I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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