we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Randomize
